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Random Article about Princess Zelda

I’m gonna be Frank with you.

The Zelda games are a hit-or-miss for me. Don’t get me wrong, I seriously don’t think there’s a single title in the series that I dislike. They all have their strengths, it’s just that some have more than others, like any game (movie, book, TV show, entree at Olive Garden).

The thing about the Zelda titles is that they’re each so different. You can’t look me in the eye and say “Oh, Wind Waker and Twilight Princess are both Zelda games, so they’re both similar”, because that’s stupid. Aside from the obvious:

Wind Waker is a much more light-hearted adventure that’s heavy on puzzles and has you sailing on a talking boat. Twilight Princess obviously tries to be darker and grittier, while you spend half the game running around on all fours. Of course, the Triforce is in both games, as are familiar characters and staple items. They’re similar in many respects, but also insanely different.

But we’re not really here to talk about the games as a whole. Nah, this article (I guess you would call it) it dedicated to one person and one person only: Zelda.

Zelda’s role in Link’s adventures varies in each game. She could be anything from someone who you simply need to rescue to one-half of the final boss fight. She also has a taste for the theatrics and likes to disguise herself as someone more badass than she is. I mean, let’s face it, guys: Zelda ain’t Princess Peach. She’s not sitting around in a castle waiting to be saved. She’s all up in Ganon’s shit, ready to strike at the opportune moment.

Except in the original games. She was basically your stereotypical damsel in distress in those.

(Literally, all that picture is missing is a giant Koopa and some lava.)

I have two favorite versions of Zelda, and a lot of you might be pissed off by them. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Zelda fans, it’s that they get pissed off at a lot. However, this is my blog, and there’s a wonderful little button in the right hand corner of your screen that will make all of your problems go away if you want.

(WARNING: I’m not the most avid Zelda player. I mean, I love (most of) the games, but I can’t say I’m a die-hard fanatic. So if you are a crazy huge Zelda fan and get offended if people make small mistakes, just know that…I will probably make some mistakes in this article. Yup. That’s all. Move along.)

Guys, I love Tetra.

She’s Zelda’s most awesome disguise…OK, maybe a deadly member of the Sheikah clan is more badass, but Tetra is my favorite. She’s like the Raphael of the Zelda world: rude, crude, and hilariously more awesome than Link. She knows what’s up. She doesn’t want to have to save Link’s sorry ass. But they have a hilarious and occasionally heartfelt chemistry that really works within the context of the game. 

Plus, here’s the deal: Tetra is a pirate captain. Tetra. I mean, geeze, she’s a little girl for crying out loud! You know what pirates do to little girls? If you don’t know, you don’t wanna know (hint: it rhymes with “tape” and “coal-test”). Yet, all of the pirates on the ship not only respect her, but they’re scared of her. This little girl who ran away from home and changed her name became the most badass pirate captain whatever planet the Zelda world takes place on has ever seen!

Epic win.

(This is the last thing misbehaving pirates see before they suffer a fate worse than death…)

The other Zelda I love is the adorable one from Skyward Sword.

Just look at her! Don’t you just wanna give her a big ol’ hug?

People without long-term memory loss will remember this little article right here: , which obviously means that I don’t have a working Wii anymore, so I’ve been tragically unable to play most of Skyward Sword. In other news, try saying “A Working Wii” with a straight face.

However, I’ve watched my friends play it. Friends who I have trouble calling my friends because they would always hog the controller and never once let me play. But I’ve seen the relationship this new incarnation of Zelda has with the new, and very full-lipped, incarnation of Link. And it’s just so damn cute. Like, look at this:

She’s a Zelda you want to save, a Zelda you are willing to go on this epic quest for. As opposed to, say, this version:

Stoic, cold, vague, aloof, void of life…yeah. Don’t be a Twilight Princess Zelda. Be a fun-loving, caring, girl-next-door-who-playfully-pushes-you-off-a-floating-island Zelda.

So leave an answer below or in my Ask Box: which version of Princess Zelda is your favorite?

Filed under the legend of zelda princess zelda tetra wind waker twilight princess skyward sword ocarina of time sheik link nintendo gaming random link's adventure